An Evening with Henry Winkler and Marlee Matlin
By Matthew Stoloff, Esq. | May 1, 2010
On April 29, 2010, a very special event took place at the Congregation B’nai Jeshurun synagogue in Short Hills, New Jersey. Actor Henry Winkler and actress Marlee Matlin stood next to each other on a raised podium and discussed how they first met, how their friendship had grown, and how each learned to overcome their own obstacles.
The evening was filled with wisdom, life stories, Jewish parables, jokes, and many laughs.
Two funny quotes got the audience roaring in laughter:
- When Henry played the ‘Fonz’ on the Happy Days television series, he received 50,000 fan mail each week. Many girls sent Henry jewelry, such as crucifixes. Henry learned something important: “Jewish girls do not give away jewelry.”
- A television director quipped: “Marlee is great! Is she going to be deaf the entire series?”
Henry Winkler, best known for his role as ‘The Fonz’ on Happy Days, is the son of German parents who fled Germany before World War II began. When Henry attended school, the school headmaster asked Henry why he wasn’t doing so well academically, Henry replied, “That makes two of us.” Henry discovered that he had dyslexia when he was 31 years old. Until this discovery, Henry had spent 1/3 of his time wondering what was wrong with him, 1/3 of his time wondering what wasn’t wrong with him, and 1/3 of his time feeling ashamed of himself. Although he didn’t say it at the event, Henry is known to have said that “‘The Fonz’ was everything that I wasn’t. He was everyone I wanted to be.”
Marlee Matlin, best known for her Oscar winning performance in “Children of A Lesser God,” as well as her performance in “The West Wing” and most recently, “Dancing With The Stars” and “The L Word,” became deaf when she was 18 months old. Initially disturbed by this discovery, Marlee’s parents contemplated the worst. However, Marlee’s parents decided to treat Marlee as normally as possible; and for a time, Marlee had imagined herself as a deaf version of Marcia Brady.
Coincidentally, both Henry and Marlee had a desire to act at a young age. Despite his dyslexic condition, Henry worked hard to memorize his lines. Similarly, no one could have anticipated that Marlee, a deaf person, would become one of the most sought after actress in Hollywood. Both learned to accept and transcend their disabilities.
The two had met when Marlee was just 12 years old. At the time, Marlee was performing at the Center on Deafness in Illinois. Henry and his wife attended the performance. Henry remarked that he had cried during the performance because he saw someone who could perform better than he. On a more serious note, Henry said, “When I saw Marlee, I saw talent. I didn’t see deafness.” Marlee’s family had asked Henry to discourage Marlee from pursuing acting as a career, but Henry refused to do that.
Who could have predicted that Henry and Marlee’s lives would be so intertwined since Henry first met Marlee when she was only 12 years old? After winning her Oscar for “Children of A Lesser God” at the young age of 21, Marlee knocked on Henry’s door and was invited by the Winkler family to stay for the weekend. Marlee ended up staying with the Winkler family for two-and-a-half years. They had developed a very close friendship and remain good friends today.
Henry and Marlee also talked about negativity and the hardships that they and other people with disabilities experience. They emphasized hard work, perseverance, confidence, and following your dreams.
In the end, Henry emphasized that disability “doesn’t define you. It doesn’t stop you from being magnificent.” Marlee signed, “Everyone here has a gift to share.” Indeed, neither Henry nor Marlee would have had the opportunity to share their stories with us if it weren’t for their challenges.
Someone asked Marlee, “Why do you choose to sign?” Marlee replied, “Because I want to be heard as loud as possible.” But perhaps Marlee’s most powerful words were these: “The world may think I live in a world of silence, but silence is the last thing the world will hear from me.”
I thank Henry and Marlee for a memorable evening. Someday, I hope that these two will write a book together about their friendship, their stories about overcoming obstacles, and their advocacy efforts on behalf of people with disabilities.
And many thanks to Jack Jason, Marlee’s long time interpreter, and the Hearing Loss Association of New Jersey for providing both sign language interpreters and Communication Assisted Real Time Captioning (CART) at this event.
*Notes: More information about Henry’s Hank Zipzer book series for children can be found here. A television network company has yet to pick up Marlee’s awesome television concept, “My Deaf Family,” but the 10 minute pilot is available on Youtube as part of a publicity campaign. (See video below.) The LivingstonPatch also has a report about this special event here.
© 2010, Matthew Stoloff, Esq.. All rights reserved.
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