When a mother looks for a girlfriend on her son’s behalf, it may not sound so strange. But Lucy Baxter’s 21 year old son, Otto, has Down’s Syndrome. Lucy wants Otto to “live a fully rounded life” and to “enjoy the same experiences as other men his age.” Lucy has encouraged Otto to go to nightclubs to pick up women and, if Otto wants to, go to a brothel. Lucy hopes that Otto will have a healthy sex life, and even marry, and have children of his own.
The response to Lucy and Otto’s story was all over the map. Some readers thought Lucy was “sick,” “bizarre,” or “creepy.” Others wondered about the damage Lucy may be doing to Otto. Still others thought Lucy was doing the right thing in helping Otto find love and enjoy life. I leave it to the reader to form his or her own judgement about Lucy. But before you do, consider what Otto had to say: he said that he would like a girlfriend so that he can “have a shower together, wash her back and have a lazy day in bed. Also go to the cinema and things like that.”
This post is not about Lucy. Rather, this post aims to change public perception that it is abnormal for disabled people to want sex, companionship, and marriage. Disabled people who marry and have sex shouldn’t be a taboo topic. Sex and companionship are basic human needs. Individuals with different kinds of disabilities have such needs. Yet, the idea that someone with cerebral palsy or an intellectual disability cannot–or should not–date, marry, and/or have sex is very dated.


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